Loot and Booty Box Set by Zeke Biddle

Author:Zeke Biddle
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2019-11-07T05:00:00+00:00

13

When we return to the room, a dais has risen from the floor, and there’s a woman sleeping on it like something right out of a fairy tale.

“Looks like that orc leader was an important kill for the Rescue the Elf quest,” Gillian says.

“Looks that way,” I agree.

But I can’t stop worrying about the stone giant we’ve failed to kill. What if he’s critical to unlocking something we need for the quest, too?

Alexandra waves a hand so close to the sleeping woman’s face she almost swats her nose. “So how do we wake her up?”

“I could bite off one of her toes?” BoomBitch says, wiggling her fingers in front of her chest with excitement.

“What the fuck?” Alexandra yells.

“That’s fucked up,” Gillian agrees.

I’m too busy looking for another one of the buttons on the dais to really pay attention to the women arguing.

“No, BoomBitch,” Eulalia says in a tone that would work even better if she had a newspaper to swat BoomBitch’s nose with. “We do not bite off friends’ toes.”

“That’s just mental,” Gillian says, scurrying to stand on the opposite side of the dais from BoomBitch.

“Sorry. My other nature takes control once in a while. I won’t eat any of you…” She sighs. “Or our new friend.”

“I can’t find anything that looks like it will wake her up if we activate it,” Gillian says. “Anyone have any non-biting ideas?”

When they all just stare at me without offering up any suggestions, I come up with a solution from the fairy tales I used to read when I was young. “Maybe a kiss will do it.”

“What if she’s not sleeping, but actually dead? That would be so creepy to kiss cold, dead lips,” Gillian says, puckering up her lips and pretending to kiss the princess.

“Thanks. That’s helpful,” I mumble.

“She’s not dead,” Eulalia says.

“You have a spell that can tell you that?” I ask, intrigued at what use that could really be anywhere outside of this room.

“No,” she points at the elf. “Her chest is rising and falling. Dead people don’t do that.”

I slap my forehead at missing something so obvious. “Good catch. Okay, so I guess I should try kissing her unless someone has a better option.”

When no one speaks, I add, “After all, it works in all the fairy tales.”

“Why haven’t you kissed her already, then?” Alexandra demands while everyone else nods.

“It just feels weird. I don’t even know her. What if she’s into women?”

“Oh, Can I kiss her first?” Gillian asks, batting her eyelashes.

Without any hesitation, she climbs up on the dais to get a better angle and plants her lips on the elf’s. She eventually breaks away with a sigh. “Damn shame. She’s got such nice lips. Your turn, macho man.”

Anticipating the game developers would have relied on the fairy tale tropes of a man kissing the sleeping woman when designing this quest, I walk to the head of the dais and stare down at the elf. She really is stunning. Her long, wavy, black hair cascades down over her shoulders.

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